Make

It seems to be the word that haunts me.
In some ways I would say it is the very word that sums up the urges of my being- think, create, act, do- they all come together within these four letters. Yet at the same time, while it is my drive and my satisfaction comes from doing, there is a twist. Make is an insatiable god.
So I find myself struggling with myself and forgetting all of the other things that compose my life. I’ve become victim to list building, where every time I cross something off I add two more things to the bottom, and at the end of the day I only see those words without a line blocking them out. And then there are always those mental layers of “importance” put at the bottom. Make doesn’t seem to understand the necessity of social outings or the smell of fresh baked bread and the time it takes, when there is art and projects that remain unfinished. Make doesn’t understand that laundry took one hour and drawing took six. On the list, they are the same.
How do I conquer this demi-god, who is in cahoots with Time and Death? How do I put these characters in their place and feel good about hanging out with Enjoyment and Fulfillment? I suppose I’ll have to run a series of tests; scientific experiments where I am both the builder of the maze and the rat, Type I and Type II, on the drug and the placebo.
List for today
Bake Bread

Laundry

Clean Bedroom

Clean Myself

Correct colors on book cover

Test run new scanner

Send Mike Images for project

Start a new drawing

Test sizing for new jewelry

Stretch and listen to Billy Holiday

Think about frames for drawings for June show

Sculpture? As if…

Silhouette color matching

Drink more coffee.

Sleep.

 

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